Tears are the purest form of prayer.
It’s complete surrender.
It’s the soul reminding you to keep God near.
I cry often because sometimes the world just pulls me
But God continues to lift me.
I feel like I can remove my being,
place it in your hands and know without doubts
it will be absolutely safe there.
All my life I’ve been longing to rest in safety.
Exhausted from carrying around this heavy armor.
Afraid to reveal my fears, my truths, my joys
For fear of them not finding a safe place to land.
Until now, until you.
Though this may not be forever,
I’ll enjoy the much needed rest
the presence of you provides.
I want all of it.
The chaos, the peace,
the love, the laughs,
the kisses, your touch,
your lips, your scent,
your prickly beard and
the way you sing off key.
I want every bit of it
because we wouldn’t be
us without all of it.
There is beauty in falling apart.
You will finally see the gorgeous pieces
those with the blessing of knowing you
already witness and stand in awe of.
One by one, bit by bit, you’ll smile
when you pick up your joy, feel warmth
when you pick up your love, feel uplifted
when you pick up your strength, feel whole
when you pick up your faith and truth.
Keep going, keep picking up the pieces.
No matter how long it takes because
every single piece of you is pure magic.
Maybe you needed to fall apart to see it.
“Sometimes falling apart if the bravest act of all.” –Sarah Hackley
Today I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to turn off my phone and just disconnect. I kept feeling waves of sadness I wanted to embrace. I wanted to provide myself the space to feel, to cry, to pray. So I put on some gospel music to let my spirit talk to God for me. I cried but didn’t feel better after. I felt like there was just so much more to pour out. I just couldn’t find the stillness to do so though my chest was on the brink of heaving. I decided to do some housekeeping then turned my phone back on. Thirty-four texts greeted me from friends and family about nothing in particular. I replied to everyone robotically. Even sending laughing emojis when a smile never formed. I don’t wish to talk to anyone, I simply don’t have the words. I just want to finally feel this bellowing cry that’s brimming so I can process and push forward. Sadness is a normal part of life. It’s healthy to cry, to feel. It’s when we force these feelings away that they become harmful to our existence and those around us.
“Some days are just bad days, that’s all. You have to experience sadness to know happiness, and I remind myself that not every day is going to be a good day, that’s just the way it is!.” – Dita Von Teese