What happens when words whisper? They form poetry. They tell stories. They breathe life. Right here…
De-victimizing ourselves
is an on ongoing process.
We forgive but the fact that
we can’t seem to forget
Starts the process all over again.
But that’s OK…
We owe it to ourselves
to continue the laboring
journey of forgiving.
“It’s not an easy journey to get to a place where you forgive people. But it’s such a powerful place, because it frees you.” -Tyler Perry
Potential- Capable of being but not yet in existence; latent.
I have trouble walking this very fine line that divides potential and reality. More often than not women tend to skew reality into their own fantasy simply based on unexplored infatuation. We get wrapped up in the passion, chemistry and what COULD be and in turn become completely oblivious to the possible incompatability with our current love interest. I am becoming more aware of my tendency to get lost in the potential and at times mistake it or paint it into reality. In turn, I just end wasting my time because I didn’t take it for what it was, mere potential. Capable of being but not yet in existence; latent.
“We Owe It To Ourselves To Stop Falling In Love With Potential” –Monica Torres
I think I’m officially obsessed with the moon. I’ve been anxiously waiting to witness his fullness since our last rendezvous. Constantly gazing up at the sky nightly. Perhaps it’s because my mind is completely free! No worries about anything or anyone. So as of late, I can’t help but notice and admire just the little things like the moon and stars. I can recall the places I’ve been each time I paused to look for him. He was merely a crescent when I was on a late night trek to my love just a few weeks ago and tonight as I drove home I was so excited to see him, all of him, once more. Hi, Mr. Moon!
“Was there always this much night? And didn’t the moon use to flirt with me from time to time? How do I cross this divide and will I ever know where you’re hiding? I am reaching with my fingers stretched.” –Tyler Knott Gregson
When you finally take the time
to see outside of yourself
within those rare fleeting moments
I am screaming on the inside to be heard
That is your greatest opportunity
to grab hold and watch me surrender.
I’m currently sitting in my car in the garage enjoying the static of the radio and the silence of all the other elements. It’s moments like these I savor most. Ever pause and try to merely exist? Ever try to be so in sync with oneself that you can actually feel the touch of your fingertips on your body the same way you feel the surface of material things? Try it. Feel. Breathe. Live.
I took a very necessary hiatus for a few days. I removed all social media apps from my phone and simply unplugged. I didn’t give much of an explanation to anyone and just disappeared into my own existence.
I needed to reset down to the very core of my being. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in this world and lose grip of who you are, what you value and your foundation. I prayed, I danced in the middle of my living room in my underwear to my favorite song, painted and sat and stared at a wall in complete silence and it all felt wonderful. In the midst of those things I was able to re-evaluate my actions as of late and re-visit goals made but not yet met and place myself back on the correct path.
During my hiatus I realized that I am very much a part of the beautiful wonders of this world and needed to start living with that as my foundation again. I feel rejuvenated and vow to always reset when I get lost in the shuffle. I truly recommend it to any and everyone. Its never too late to go back to who you are.
“Everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” -Anne Lamott
I don’t feel like I belong. My relationship with my mother is non existent. After years of daydreaming about what our reunion would be like I was crushed when she told me our encounter was fake. My relationship with my stepmom is strained and only goes as deep as my efforts and my heart has grown weary of the many failed attempts to re-establish a connection. My best friend shared her family with me very openly initially but after a very tough but necessary conversation about boundaries I find myself straddling those lines and relationships cautiously for fear of offending once more. My siblings are off in different places building lives and families with their significant others, as they should. Within my small circle of girlfriends I feel like the odd woman out. Partly because I’m in another city and often hear significant stories seemingly only as a courtesy when I’m physically present. My love doesn’t facilitate relationships between myself and his family and my own efforts to build a deeper bond are often stifled.
I long for that mother-daughter relationship. I long for a family bond without secrets or boundaries. I long for transparent friendships. I long to truly belong to someone, anyone.
